It's The Little Things: Clinging to Hope

I wish this Wednesday for It’s The Little Things link up with Jess & Ashley I could share some beautiful moment I had with my family or a photo that brought a ray of sunshine to my day in my previous week, but today my heart is heavy. And the only ray of sunshine I can feel is the glimmer of hope I am desperately clinging to.

Last weekend a very dear friend from high school was in a car accident caused by a drunk driver. He sustained several injuries and was rushed to the hospital. Within minutes they began operating on his brain. Later we learned, the woman that hit my friend along with 3 young women was driving under the influence (twice the legal limit) she didn’t believe she drove and didn’t remember getting in the vehicle, she also ran a red light going roughly 45-60 mph in a 30 mph zone and t-boned the car my friend was in. He was on the side of most impact. He has undergone now two brain surgeries but is responding to stimuli. Which is a VERY good sign in this situation.

As the hours and days progressed we learned he suffered a stroke but his diligently working nurses and doctors were optimistic and hopeful for his survival. Although, he had been in a coma from the beginning. It wasn’t until yesterday that we learned otherwise. My friend suffered another massive stroke Monday night that caused him to lose complete function of the right side of his brain and severely damaging the left side. A few hours later he was pronounced brain dead. It wouldn’t be long before he passed away we were told, and they wanted his family to consider organ donation. Because he's so young and his heart and lungs were stable they don't know exactly when he'll go. They gave him a mere couple days at the most. But definitively said he will not survive this.

My dear friend was a year younger than me but was a part of a group of friends that we all considered family. He majored in exercise science and had just been accepted to Medical School. He wanted to practice sports medicine. Writing this alone is breaking my heart that he’ll never have that opportunity. This man was SO loved, I mean I can’t even describe to you how much. He had the most infectious smile and laugh. All he had to do was smile and an entire room lit up around him. He had a very strong faith and was always willing to say a prayer for one in need. He even encouraged the boys on his high school and college baseball teams to pray before every practice and game. It became a wonderful tradition so many of our “friend-family” began doing. I never realized how close knit of a family we were then until leaving high school and moving our separate ways. Now coming back to my hometown and settling down it all is so clear to me. My best friends have all grown so much over the years, and we’re all in different places in our lives. One thing remains: neither time nor distance has separated a thing between us. When we come home everything is still the same. And this alone I’m truly thankful to God for. Most don’t have relationships like ours and it’s a rare beautiful gift.

I was going to leave it at that but I can literally feel the pit in the bottom of my stomach, the salt on my cheeks, and burning ache in my heart.

I’ve briefly talked about my brother-in-law’s motorcycle accident in August. He too was hit by a woman who wasn’t paying attention. Of course, we think she was drunk by the evidence but for some reason her blood alcohol content wasn’t screened at the police station. So while I can’t say for sure he was hit by a drunk driver, he was hit by someone who wasn’t paying attention and was very distracted. She didn’t even see my brother until he was on the pavement half under her car. The woman never got out of her vehicle to see if he was okay. She told dispatch that she was late for a dinner date and needed to get to the restaurant, and wanted them to hurry up so she could go. She also merely got a slap on the wrist for her actions. But I pray today, she realizes the damage she caused. My brother will never walk again. He underwent a week of intensive surgeries, spent 2 and a half months in the ICU, and around 4 months of needed physical, occupational, & vocational therapy. My brother would have made a wonderful Dad, and had a very hopeful future of meeting the right woman and walking down the aisle. He won’t do those things either. By the grace of God he’ll be able to father a child it just will be different for him, considering he can’t feel anything below the belly button. While, this all may seem silly, he’s still alive it’s a VERY hard pill to swallow. Someone so undeserving of such trauma and tragedy has to endure it every single day of his life now.

And while my dear friend was SO incredibly undeserving of this tragedy as well, it’s a painful reminder of what was yesterday and what will be tomorrow. Yesterday, a day where the sun was shining and he was still smiling. Tomorrow a day without it.

Through the struggle with my brother and waiting for an entire week to know whether or not we were burying him our beginning a very long road to recovery, the loss of my own sweet beautiful daughter, and now dear friend I have learned one thing.

Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed.

I BELIEVE in a God that is only good. He doesn’t cause these things to happen. However, he has a plan. And we’re living His plan while He’s unfolding our own stories. I desperately cling to the truth in His promises. While, we live in a broken world we’re here to bring those to Him and trust His plan while it unfolds. My friend was very much sent from God. He showed others the hope there is in Jesus. My babygirl did the same. And through my brother’s accident I learned how desperately I need my faith.

Because without Jesus, there is no hope.

And we all could use a little more hope.

If there’s anything I want out of this post it’s to educate. I strongly believe even after 1 drink you shouldn’t drive. There’s a reason alcohol is considered a drug. Don’t get me wrong here; I’m not trying to sound above it all. I enjoy a cocktail or two. But there’s a fine line. And in my small town it’s been a very, VERY fine line the last year. From my high school alone we will have lost 5 students due to car accidents that could have been avoided. Please, don’t ever drink and drive. You may think you’re fine but in hindsight you aren’t just risking your own life, you’re risking someone else’s as well.

Someone’s Mother, Father, Daughter, Son, Friend.

I can’t imagine a world without my sweet friend. I know he’s going to make Heaven a little more beautiful with his smile.

So, today I'd like to say it's the little things in life that truly mean the most. I pray y'all realize and understand the gravity of that. I pray for comfort for my friend as God calls him Home. I'm desperately praying for his family because they are awaiting a very daunting and long journey with their grief. I know that I serve a God that is the ultimate healer, and I know my friend will be healed whether it's in this life or in Heaven. I pray that he knows how many love him and have cherished his friendship and love. The lives he is going to be saving is the ultimate gift he would love to give. I know my friend would give it all if he could and wouldn't think twice about it. I pray all those that know him find comfort in that. That he is leaving this broken place healed and healing so many others. God's greatest work, I can assure you of that. 

I pray you hold the ones you love a little closer because
I can promise you: tomorrow isn’t guaranteed.

#MCstrong

xoxo