Those pure little moments

I had intended on getting this post out yesterday for Jess and Ashley's link up—it’s the little things. That obviously didn’t happen. With me and the hubs feeling like dog poo for the last couple days and yet another snow storm I merely snuggled on the couch by the fire with Starbucks in hand and later wine.

Is there really any better way to spend a snow day than reading mags, sipping your fav drinks, and relaxing by a hot fire? I think not.

Unfortunately, with the hubby being an officer and all they don’t really get snow days. He works second shift which leaves me alone at night during the week. (Aside from my big 80 pound fur baby that thinks she's a lap dog) Sometimes that isn’t such a bad thing y’all. Last night was just that.

Little instagram selfie before the big game Sunday
in all my paleness glory. Where's the sun??

I relaxed by the fire and just wrote. read. sipped. Exactly what I needed. I intended on writing about a sweet moment I had a couple weekends ago getting pedis with my “sis” aka best family girlfriend and my goddaughter. But I just felt like last night meant a little more. I had the alone time I was craving to reflect, and get some thoughts out of my system.

 

Backtrack a couple weekends and I went for birthday pedis with two of my favorite ladies my sis, Lori and goddaughter, Ryleigh. We had a blast. I enjoyed trucking that one year old tot around all day for pedis, lunch, shopping... the works! However, I just kept feeling like something was missing. I’ll give y’all one guess… of course my babe Lylah was what I was missing. I kept remembering all of those hopes and dreams I had of taking my own babe to do those girly things we all adore.

I can tell you last night though I felt very hopeful again.
I just want to say that again…
I have hope.

Wow. I’m so grateful I have a God that works the way He does. A month ago I don’t know that I would have been able to say those three words and truly meant it like I do now. From the beginning of this journey I have always tried to stay true in Him. Although, I’ll tell y’all the truth I did waiver a bit. It was hard to understand the “whys.” At times it still is. So I don’t focus on that. I focus on my journey.
He wrote it. Not me.
I didn’t craft this story because if I had it definitely would have
gone a little differently. 

But in that there’s a wonderful feeling. I feel renewed hope. I felt like I was getting so much out of my system last night. There’s a lot I haven’t spoken about yet. A lot I’m afraid of. Some my husband doesn’t quite know.
I’m working on that.

My hubby is ready for baby #2 and February brings a little more worry for me than it does for him. February is the month we got the green light on “Do what makes ya happy” speech… that was my doctor saying February is the month we can start trying again. Who wouldn’t be happy? Me… kind of? 

I’m more than ready for a viable pregnancy. A healthy babe I get to bring home from the hospital. I want one so badly it terrifies the hell out of me.

I’m fearful of losing another baby. 

I know God is good. I believe that. I trust Him. I’m still learning to accept that His plan may be different than my own though. 

 

So, last night for me was clarity. I just wrote and wrote and wrote some more.
What I’m hopeful for.
What I’m praying, wishing, dreaming, and especially afraid of.

By getting it all out I’m able to conquer it. I’m able to allow myself to accept the fear and not let it consume me.
I’m able to solely concentrate on the hope I feel.

Those pure moments in your heart… that’s where you’ll find your way. 

That’s where your hope lives.
 

And that’s where I’m choosing to focus my energy.

I encourage y’all to take some time to focus on your heart. What is a pure moment you’ve had recently that’s allowed you to remember it’s the little things that mean the most?

xoxo